I don’t like having my thoughts on display in a public avenue for onlookers to peruse. I can’t stand the idea of shamelessly whoring out my own internal ramblings for entertainment purposes. Likewise, I despise anyone who would actually take the time to read such ramblings on. The very concept is repulsive to me. It is because of these dislikes, that I will never have anything to do with personal websites built for the sole purpose of providing an outlet for such things. I will not create, operate, or provide content for such a site. I can easily say that I hate the people that do create and publish said content. These people are often seeking self assurance through attempts at wit and grammatical superiority. This is doubly so for people that dissect someone else’s work with the single objective of self gratifying, masterbatorial ego stroking. Let me offer my suggested alternatives to these activities;
-Have a debate with a dog. Whenever the dog interrupts you, rip out one of its nails with pliers.
-Arm-wrestle a baby. After you win, poke it in the eye.
-Challenge a paraplegic to a foot race.
-Go to an amusement park with a midget and only ride the attractions with height requirements.
-Visit retirement homes and express how old everyone is. Explain to them why it sucks to be so old. Offer to perform oral sex on them.
-Offer compliments to cancer children about their hair. Before they can respond to you, punch them in the face and laugh at them for being bald and believing that you like their hair.
-Go the grocery store. At the checkout lane, insist that you don’t need a bag. Smash your canned goods into the would-be bagger’s face and call him a bag-tard. Bonus points if it actually is a bag-tard.
The point is that there are other options when looking for something to make oneself feel secure. People should Never stoop to posting their thoughts online, or reading other people’s thoughts online.
I hate you.
I hate me.
Now, tell me how brilliant I am!!!
3 comments:
That is fantastic that you managed to express so much without offering one iota of insight into yourself or the pathetic mess of a "life" you live. I am not entirely certain, having read the puerile bilge you just vomited across my screen, that it is possible, let alone conceivable, for you to hate me more than I hate you. Bear in mind that by stealing away the time it took for me to read that crap, you have actually murdered me in tiny increments. Every second spent staring at the sludge that pours forth from your sophomoric mind is a second sooner that I will have to meet my maker. I hope this satisfies you in some manner, to know that you have robbed someone of the precious seconds that make up their existence. I hope it pleases you to know that that time can never be recovered, nor can YOU ever be forgiven.
P.S. Everything you wrote is bullshit. And if you're gonna offer oral sex to a octogenarian, at least try and get paid for it.
I know, right?
I... um... er... well...
I hate your frakkin' brilliance!
There, I said it. Now do you feel an iota better that you've left me a steaming lump of seething fetid hatred melting with eternal infernal anger right in front of the entire blogosphere and my cat?
I want to take an expired sell-no-later-than-blah-blah-date can of putrid pig's feet and bash in your bag-tard face, Bag-tard. Yeah, that would make ME feel much better and relieve a lot of the stress you've heaped upon me.
What right do you have to blast your foul stench of sorry ass verbiage over the Holy InterWebs?
Other than that....
Nice witty title and impressive effort first post ... for a bag-tard.
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